FLOYD: Gee whiz, Papa, it seems the ol' Lineman isn't his usual self today.

TETE: Indeed... what is usually a jolly character seems to be rather sullen.

FLOYD: Perhaps he needs a laxative? He probably had a court case today, and he wasn't feeling like himself...

TETE: Shut up, Floyd.

The Lineman hops into the ring. Coach follows after him, and the two begin talking, presumably discussing ring strategy.

Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time" comes up, much to the chagrin of the audience. La Parka appears, carrying his sheathed chair. He glares at the audience with haughty contempt, then slips his skull mask on over his head. He heads down to the ring and tosses his chair off to one side, then slides under the ropes. The bell sounds.

The two wrestlers immediately go at it. The Lineman leaps forward, using his sheer bulk as a weapon, and smashes into La Parka like a bludgeon. The two bounce into the ropes, and La Parka uses the reverse momentum to hoist the Lineman up into a sloppy Samoan Drop. The two fall to the ring, but both remain relatively unfazed, and instantly the two are back on their feet.

TETE: What sheer power both of these wrestlers are demonstrating!

FLOYD: What sheer nausea my stomach is feeling!

The Lineman drops into a defensive stance, waiting for La Parka to make the next move. The two circle for a few moments. Finally, La Parka feints forward, making the Lineman crouch down in reaction... at the last second, La Parka switches tactics, and jumps forward, turning his body horizontally, and plants his elbow directly into the back of the Lineman's neck. The Lineman falls to the mat, but La Parka grabs him by the head and pulls him back to his feet. With only the slightest of pauses to gather his strength, La Parka hoists the Lineman into a powerful Vertical Suplex, holding him up for a few moments before dropping back down. The whole ring shakes as the massive bulk of the Lineman hits the mat.

TETE: Sweet Baby Larry, La Parka managed to lift up a man as big as the Lineman?!?

FLOYD: La Parka's gotta be taking those steroids, Papa. Let's make him take a urine test.

TETE: In the middle of the match?

FLOYD: Sure, I have a couple urine cups he can use.

TETE: Floyd, I don't want to know why you have those.

La Parka goes for a cover, but the Lineman kicks out before the 2-count. With a bellow of agitation, La Parka pulls the Lineman to his feet and whips him into the ropes. The Lineman bounces back, only to leap into a Flying Tackle, catching La Parka around the upper arms and shoulders. The two crash to the mat, and the Lineman climbs back to his feet. He raises his arms to the audience, prompting another cheer from the crowd. The Lineman then reaches down and pulls La Parka up onto his shoulder, then walks over to the turnbuckle, whereupon he climbs up onto the second ropes, still with La Parka on his shoulder.

TETE: He's not going to do what I think he is... is he?

FLOYD: Unless you're thinking of the word "suck", then probably not.

With a loud bellow of triumph, the Lineman kicks off from the ropes, and brings La Parka down to the ring into a bodyslam off the turnbuckle. Once again, the whole ring shakes. The Lineman jumps up again and postures for the audience. While he's celebrating, Scott Raye appears under the Abbottron. He stands at the top of the ramp with his hands folded behind his back and a serene expression on his face.

TETE: Wait a minute... what's he doing here?!?

FLOYD: He's obviously come to apologize, Papa! He's a good kid!

TETE: You can't be serious. He's got to be up to no good.

It takes a few moments for the Lineman to notice Raye, but when he does, all hell breaks loose. The Lineman glares at his one-time friend, then with a thundering scream of anger, he charges forward like a locomotive, hurdling over the ropes and landing on his feet outside the ring. He rushes up the ramp, with Coach following after him, trying to get him to come back to his senses. During all this, Raye continues standing there, his expression unchanging.

Seconds before the Lineman grabs Raye and begins tearing him limb from limb, Cyril Hand charges out from under the Abbottron, leaps over Raye's head, and plants a jump-kick directly to the Lineman's forehead. The much larger man flips backwards, landing on his stomach. Immediately afterward, Remington Hand and Chet Stevens appear, and the four Servants immediately begin pounding away on the Lineman. A few seconds later, C-Cube emerges, dressed his his burlap pants and sandals.

TETE: It was an ambush! Scott Raye ambushed the Lineman!

The ref calls for the bell. The Lineman, even while being pounded upon, grabs the feet of Remington and Cyril, and he pushes with enough force to send them crashing onto their backs. Simultaneously, he thrashes his legs out, catching Scott Raye and Chet Stevens with powerful kicks that send them sprawling.

TETE: And the Lineman is still fighting!

FLOYD: He just doesn't know when to give up!

The Lineman struggles to his feet. C-Cube rushes forward, but the Lineman thrashes his arm out and catches C-Cube in the gut, knocking the Crazy Crishna to the ground. The Lineman stumbles down to the ramp towards Coach, and the two head down to the ring and away from the Servants of Shiva. C-Cube, unfazed from the attack, jumps back up to his feet and follows afterwards. The rest of his Servants do likewise, and pretty soon it becomes obvious that the Lineman is trapped between the Servants and the ring.

TETE: What are they going to do? The Lineman and Coach have no place to go!

FLOYD: They should have taken that laxative.

The Lineman's face contorts, and with a growl of defiance, he rushes towards C-Cube again. He catches C-Cube in a tackle, but C-Cube is quick to roll out of the attack and jumps back up to his feet. Chet Stevens, Scott Raye, and the Brothers Hand quickly gang up on the Lineman again, this time making sure that they keep him down.

Coach rushes forward, trying to help the Lineman, but C-Cube throws a kick into Coach's midsection, sending him down. In the middle of the ring, La Parka, having since regained clarity, rises to his knees. Upon noticing the carnage going on outside the ring, he rulls under the ropes and retreives his chair. He removes it from its sheath and approaches the group. He pulls off his skull mask and extends his hand to C-Cube, but C-Cube swings his arms out, snatches the chair from La Parka's grip, and continues swinging around in a full circle and finally delivers a chair shot upside La Parka's head.

TETE: This is terrible! C-Cube obviously just wants to punish the Lineman for his actions last Warbash!

FLOYD: Can't say he doesn't deserve it, Papa.

TETE: Like hell I can't. In fact, I think I may end up saying it several times more in the upcoming weeks.

The Servants, content to have made their presence felt and their message delivered, whirl around, almost as one like-minded unit, and trudge back up the ramp and disappear under the Abbottron.

TETE: I don't know what to make of this, Floyd... things are escalating far beyond a simple wrestling Federation. This is turning into an all-out Jihad!

COMMERCIAL

After the previous commercial break... camera comes back up on the crowd roaring in anticipation of the next match on the card

TETE (having to yell over the roar of the crowd): Ladies and Gentlemen welcome back to Warbash! The crowd is really on fire and ready for this next matchup! You know which one is next Floyd?

FLOYD: You want me to do what? To who? For how many cookies?

TETE: I am not sure why I bother trying… Any event fans! Here is a match that allows Rico Laser and Malice yet another chance to clash, and also a chance for Avron to prove himself against the likes of the frantic Mask!

FLOYD: Great, yet another vehicle for Jim Carrey to demand more for one movie than I make being the announcer for this, oh so great, federation. I mean, heck, The Riddler?, Andy Kauffman, the Grinch, some super hero freak in a Mask, and not to mention some detective freak who has a pension for talking out of his ass? But now he has to break into our fed and not even use an original gimmick? I mean come on!

TETE: Well you seem to have made a good living talking out of your ass as well...

FLOYD (obviously pretending not to have heard the last comment): Hmmm What? I can’t hear you over this crowd!

TETE: How convenient, any event fans, hold onto your hats… This one is about to start!

As if on cue ‘Duel of the Fates’ comes across the sound system as all attention is turned to Tanner leading a frantic and active Mask to the ring. Tanner seems to be having a bit more trouble than usual with the Mask. The Mask seems to be feeding on the excitement of the crowd, and even attempts to grab a couple of unsuspecting fans on his way down to the ring. Tanner puts and end to this quickly and unleashes the Mask into the ring.

The music dies down and it looks as if tanner is about to address the crowd when the silence is interrupted by the soft, and soothing sounds of a Japanese flute. The crowd quiets down and the Mask seems to calm down as well, rocking slightly to the music. Avron LongArm steps out from behind the AbbotTron and receives a reasonable pop from the crowd, who is still somewhat confused as to how to react to Avron’s calm intro music. Avron makes his way down to the ring and steps up to the turnbuckle opposite of the visibly rocking Mask. Tanner does not look amused and smacks the Mask on the back of his head, which seems to have no effect.

TETE: Well it appears that music once again soothes the savage beast!

FLOYD: If that is the case the next couple intros should be interesting… Maybe he’ll start trancing or head banging! Or do the Macarena!

TETE: You know Floyd…

FLOYD: Yeah, yeah, shut up Floyd….

Avron’s music is interrupted by the heavy beats of A3’s ‘Woke up this morning’ as Rico Laser is seen at the top of the ramp surrounded by a huge laser light show, and a few security guards.

TETE: What the heck is this? Is the Laser Show actually afraid? What is with the badges?

FLOYD: Of course he’s afraid of a lunatic like Jim Carrey!! Can you image what would happen if a freak like Carrey got near a Star like Rico? He may try to wedgie him like that clown freak, or try and steal his Christmas or something like that!

TETE: The Mask is not Jim Carrey, Floyd, never has been and never will be.

FLOYD: Can you prove that little theory of yours?

TETE: Well no….

FLOYD: I rest my case…

Rico grabs a mic and addresses the crowd.

RICO: Before anyone gets the wrong idea... these men are only here to make sure none of that psychopath Malice’s family interferes. (The crowd pops at the mention of Malice) We have this stipulation match that no one has ever heard of, and I want to make sure his deranged siblings don’t try to take me out before that.

With that Rico and his guards head to ringside. It is then that the lights go out and the wind picks up in the arena. A barrage of fireworks goes off in the rafters and all over the stage. It is then the AbbotTron comes to life and we see Malice in disheveled street clothes standing at an unknown bus station. He is still obviously unshaven and has not slept in days.

MALICE: Well Rico and others, I am afraid that I will not be able to join you folks tonight, I have been a little busy getting ready for a little redecoration project in honor of you Rico, and I wouldn’t want to beat you into oblivion…. Yet. ::Crowd Pops Again::. So, I have arranged a little substitution instead. So, I’ll see you at Blood and Gold Rico, and Avron I am pretty sure you’ll be happy to meet your tag team partner for the night.::

With that out from under the AbbotTron we see an empty Starbucks coffee cup get thrown out as Angst lazily wanders out. As he heads to the ring, it is obvious that Avron is not all that comfortable with this decision. It then turns out that The Mask has had enough talking and springs across the ring and hurls himself into he unsuspecting Avron.

TETE: Looks like this thing is finally underway, even with a new partner for Avron.

Avron seems caught only unaware for a moment, and pushes the Mask away quickly so he can take a few moments to set up a real strategy. Angst finally wanders to his corner and watches. Meanwhile the Mask and Avron are thoroughly intent on taking each other apart. Avron manages to grapple the Mask to the ground where he has set him into a painful variation of an octopus stretch.

However the Mask does not seem to care at all, in fact, he seems completely relaxed. Avron senses this and lets go of the hold so he can try a more straightforward and brutal approach. Avron picks up the Mask and attempts to give him a solid front kick to the chest, which is caught midway by the Mask. The Mask throws Avron to the mat and demonstrates the proper way to administer the ‘brutal approach’. After a good round of thrashings, throwings, and the occasional bitings from the Mask, Avron stops him cold with a somewhat uncharacteristic tilt-o-whirl slam. Avron moves back to his corner and attempts the tag, but Angst drops down fro the apron and leaves Avron to his own devices.

TETE: Oh my! It appears that Angst isn’t all that interested in helping out Avron!

FLOYD: Of course not, he’s a slacker, and a nobody! I told you he is a deadbeat, a loser…

Angst hears this and heads toward Floyd who is frantically pointing at his co-host. Angst steps up to the table and grabs Floyd, who seems to have pulled a Starbucks coffee cup out of nowhere and is offering it to Angst as some sort of piece offering. Angst lets go of Floyd and takes the coffee back to his corner.

FLOYD: Whew, that was close…

TETE: What the hell was that? Where did you get that drink?

FLOYD: I was a boy scout… you know ‘Be Prepared’!

TETE: What the hell else do you have under this table?

FLOYD: A bit of something for everyone, just in case they do what that little poetry reading freak just tried…

TETE: Amazing!

FLOYD: Heh, you should see what I have under here for that Jester freak.

During the previous exchange the Mask made his way to Rico and has tagged him in. Avron is still yelling something at Angst and doesn’t see Rico charging at him. Rico executes a flawless full nelson suplex and send Avron into the mat with enough force for most of the crowd shudder. Avron appears to be out like a light and Rico goes for the pin. Angst makes no move at all to stop the impending loss. The ref counts: 1…2…

As the ref starts to motion for his third count, there are more explosions all around the arena and the AbbotTron springs to life again. The ref is perplexed and stops his count. Rico looks up with the crowd and sees Malice on the AbbotTron again.

MALICE: Well, well Rico, it looks like it is time to start that Remodeling project of mine, I’ll think I’ll start with this lovely building.

The camera pans back to a sign that states: LaserLight Industries Headquarters. The camera switches to Rico who looks somewhat perplexed.

MALICE: The way I see it Rico, you attacked what was closest to me, so it is my turn!

With that Malice takes a sledgehammer and uses it to crash through the ornate glass doors that separate the lobby from the outside world. Malice laughs as he heads in and does the same to the receptionist’s vacant table.

FLOYD: What! Someone call the police…. Madman on the loose!

Rico is obviously furious and has completely ignored the fact that Avron has gotten to his feet and is heading back to his corner for a tag. Meanwhile a few security guards have made the mistake of trying to stop Malice and have been rewarded for their attempts with a few quite painful power bombs and DDT’s on the cold marble floor. Rico runs to the Mask and forces a tag as he leaves the ring shouting at his security guards to come with him.

TETE: Malice is out of control, and I am sure that Rico is not going to be all that reluctant anymore to step up to this ‘typhoon’ match at Blood and Gold!!

Back in the ring the Mask is getting instructions from Tanner and heads over the ropes. Avron reaches out to Angst and is answered by a face full of hot latte!

FLOYD: Hey I paid good money for that, and do you know how hard it is to keep something scalding hot under this table. See if I ever bribe you again!!!

Angst wanders around the outside of the ring and heads off into the crowd. Avron however is not so lucky and is staggering around in the ring. He staggers directly into The Mask who unceremoniously lifts Avron into the air and lets him fall neck first onto the ropes. Tanner shouts out some more instructions and The Mask nods in agreement. The Mask lifts the now blinded and chocking Avron into the air and executes a brutal chokeslam on him. The Mask then pins Avron to the mat with both feet planted firmly on his chest.

TETE: The Fall From Grace!!! Avron has got to be out cold!! My God, the betrayal, the brutality

The Ref counts: 1

FLOYD (mocking Tete): The latte, the stupid angry boy!

The Ref counts: 2 and 3!!

TETE: That’s it, The Mask and Rico laser win!!! What the heck is going on between Avron and Angst? What does Rico plan on doing about Malice’s redecoration project?

FLOYD: And who is going to get me another Latte!!!