Delirium
Part I
| We begin with an outside shot of the Ahmanson
Theater in Los Angeles. The marquee says: "DELIRIUM" in huge letters, and
fireworks are going off outside as the show starts. Then, just like in the old days, it's
Poppa Tete's voice. TETE: Welcome to the Ahmanson Theater in Los Angeles, and welcome back to the USXWF!! We cut to the inside of the Ahmanson Theater, where three rings have been set up on the stage, each directly next to the other. Tete and Floyd are ringside on the stage. TETE: An unusual venue for an unusual evening, Floyd. FLOYD: No question, Poppa. TETE: Obviously the big story tonight: the job of Chief Executive Officer of USXWF was put up for grabs last week by the Founding Five, a last ditch effort to combat the corporate takeover of USXWF by Laserlight Industries. FLOYD: The CEO is an important man, Poppa. TETE: Of course he is. And not only that, but the USXWF Heavyweight title and the #1 contendership for that title are also on the line tonight ... in the same main event! One could say that the very soul of the USXWF is in question tonight. FLOYD: I just hope that Malice doesn't get the CEO job. If he does, we're all in trouble! TETE: I think Malice would do a fine job as CEO, Floyd. Tete's objection, however, is interrupted by "Woke Up This Morning". The crowd boos as Rico Laser, decked out in a three-piece suit and Armani sunglasses, walks out, mic in hand. FLOYD: It's the Boss! TETE: Oh God, you bootlicker! FLOYD: I'm just paying him the proper respect, Poppa, and so should you. Laser takes his sunglasses off and studies the crowd as they begin to chant, "Asshole". LASER: Is that any way to reintroduce the world to the USXWF and its Laser Show? The crowd pops. LASER: Fine. I can accept that my customers are a bunch of no-class trailer park mongoloids. You're not the reason I'm out here anyway. I'm here to address the gentlemen competing in the main event tonight, Malice, C-Cube, and the three others whose identities not even I, owner of the company, have knowledge of. At Malice's name, there is a good-sized cheer from the crowd. LASER: Yes, that's it, cheer your rabble-rousing, troublemaking hero. He'll probably win the title tonight anyway, so perhaps you'd better get used to cheering for him. TETE: What? FLOYD: Did Laser just say Malice was going to win the title? LASER: To answer the question you're all probably asking yourselves, yes, I predict that Malice will win the title tonight. Because I have no intention of winning it. The crowd pops. LASER: Ah, but you forget my friend, there are three prizes to be won here. A title, a #1 contendership, and a job. A very important, prestigious job. A job which I refuse to see in anyone's hands aside from someone picked by the owner of the company - and that, my friends, my fans, my foes, is me. And I intend to see Henry Abbott with the job of Chief Executive Officer. And if that means I have to win it, then abdicate to him, that's what I'm going to do. So in other words, I will outlast all the others fighting, and I WILL win the CEO job, and then Henry Abbott will take it over. That's the Boss's last word. So, to the other gentlemen in the match, I advise you to get your pins early. Because I fully intend on taking that job, and I will do anything - I repeat, ANYTHING - to avoid seeing this company go down the tubes at the hands of someone like Malice or C-Cube. The crowd boos loudly. TETE: I'm sure C-Cube and Malice don't much appreciate that sentiment. FLOYD: I don't care what they think. He's right. This company will fall into disgrace under their control, and I for one would hate to see that happen. Laser starts to head up to the ramp, when suddenly "Supernova Goes Pop" hits, and the crowd explodes. Laser frustratedly leans against the ropes and beckons Malice to come down. The music stops and a slight breeze blows through the theater. There are no doors open. LASER: Come on down here, you coward! A laugh we recognize as Malice's, somehow breaking through the speaker system, booms across the theater. MALICE'S VOICE: Sorry, friend. You know that isn't my style. LASER: Then state your business. MALICE: Fine. I just wanted you to know that I don't lay down for anyone. I'll take what I can get. If that happens to be the title, I'll take that. If it's the #1 contendership, then I'll take that. If it's the job - which I would take special relish in, given that you want it so much - then I will happily take that. LASER: If you try, you'll have a fight on your hands. MALICE: I hope so... A slight laugh that fades away, then "Supernova Goes Pop" again, as Laser yells up at the ceiling, unheard by either Malice or we, the viewers. TETE: Wow! What an emotionally charged beginning to this, our first pay-per-view! FLOYD: I'll say! I'm emotionally scarred from that little display. TETE: You mean Laser's arrogance? FLOYD: No. Malice's cowardice, obviously. TETE: Oh, obviously. Laser leaves the ring. TETE: Okay, folks, here we go! The first match of the night, the Deathmatch title match between Dino Fischetti, the Big Bald Bitch, and our newest, perhaps bizarrest, superstar Faust, is about to begin! FLOYD: I'll tell you, Poppa, Fischetti and the Bitch have hated each other ever since the Bitch refused to take the fall for the Company Line two weeks into USXWF history. They used to be teammates, but now they'd love to see each other six feet under. TETE: Indeed, if someone's not careful, one of these two could indeed lend credence to this title's name. "Wait To Bleed" comes over the Ahmanson's loudspeakers, and with mixed reactions from the crowd, Dino Fischetti runs out onto the stage, wearing a long grey trenchcoat and wrestling pants and boots underneath. His long hair and moustache flare wildly with each gesture of his as he circles the ring, jumping up on the turnbuckles facing the crowd. His eyes flash with a slightly unstable cruelty, and he jumps back onto the ring and continues pacing as he waits for his opponents to appear. The lights dim again, and "Last Resort" by Papa Roach comes up, and Big Bald Bitch ambles into view. He takes a more cautious take of the ringside, pausing for a few moments before climbing in. He and Dino glare at each other for a few moments before the ref gets in between the two of them, pushing them to either sides of the ring. The lights dim for a third time, this time to blackness, and a large pyrotechnic explosion engulfs the entranceway. Faust appears, followed by Wagner. Standing halfway to the ring, Faust leans his head back and holds his hands out, then thrusts his hands to his sides again and dives for the ring. The bell sounds as soon as he's under the ropes, and as soon as the match starts, Dino and Bitch are at each other's throats. TETE: The two USXWF veterans wasting no time in digging up old grudges... FLOYD: What, they're ignoring Faust? Oh, wait, that's right... Faust needs to be dealt with via lethal injection. TETE: You hate him that much? FLOYD: Hey, the movie Alien traumatized me when I was a kid, okay? Faust watches the other two men grapple for a few moments, formulating an attack plan. Several seconds into the match, he finally makes his move, bouncing off the ropes in an attempted double-flying-clothesline... but just before he hits, Dino and Bitch both turn in unison and deliver blows of their own, Dino's catching Faust in the face, and Bitch's scoring home across the chest! Faust flips backward, lying on his back between the two men. Bitch suddenly grabs Dino's arm and whips him into the rope, and on the bounceback, Dino steps into Bitch's hands, and with a quick boost on the part of BBB, Dino is launched into the air... and when he falls down, he drops his elbow across Fausts's face! TETE: What the hell is this? Dino and Big Bald Bitch seem to be working together! Floyd: Nah, they just don't want any screwballs messing up their grudge match! True enough, Dino and Bitch turn their attention back to each other, trading punches and slowly moving to one corner of the ring. Faust slowly climbs to his feet. TETE: Wait a minute... what's Wagner doing? Faust's nervous little assistant had timidly approached the ring, and slid a steel chair under the ropes towards his master. Faust grabs the chair and jumps up, and heads towards his two opponents. Again, Dino and Bitch surprise Faust even as the mad scientist swings... clutching their hands together, the two catch Faust in a clothesline that sends the large form of Faust flipping backwards, hitting his head on his own chair. Bitch hauls Faust to his feet, screaming in his face, while Dino hops over the ropes and begins rummaging under the ring for debris. TETE: They are working together! They must be! FLOYD: No, I'm telling you Papa, they're just getting rid of a mutual annoyance. The real match will start in a moment. TETE: What's that Bitch is saying? Sounds like he said he's going to show Faust what real Hardcore is! FLOYD: If that's so, ladies and gentlemen, get your vomit bags! Dino continues tossing trashcans, metal sheets, and 2X4s into the ring. Faust had been slowly gaining his strength back during all this, so Bitch grabs a trashcan and smashes it over the taller man's head, causing Faust to topple like a house of cards in an earthquake. Meanwhile, Dino had climbed back into the ring, and was busy setting up his instruments of destruction. He first stacks a sheet of metal onto top of a trashcan, then hands a 2X4 to Big Bald Bitch, who trades off the manhandling of Faust to Dino. TETE: They are working together, Floyd, there's no doubt about it! FLOYD: Who cares, who cares, what the hell are they doing...? Dino had hauled Faust over to the turnbuckle, and Bitch was standing several feet away from them. With a massive heave, Dino jumps onto the third rope, carrying Faust with him. Bitch shouts his readiness and prepares to swing the 2X4. TETE: Oh, no, they're not going to... With a surge of strength, Dino hauls Faust into the air, making him fall forward headfirst. As Faust's head came down, Big Bald Bitch swings the 2X4 in a powerful upswing, catching Faust upside the temple. Faust flew backwards and landed facefirst onto the metal sheet and trashcan set up by Dino earlier. TETE: The crack of that 2X4 is echoing throughout the place! FLOYD: Ouch, I think I felt that in my teeth, Papa! TETE: Faust isn't moving after this devastating attack... FLOYD: They're not done yet! Bitch hauls Faust's limp form off of the matt so Dino can get some shots in, but Wagner climbs into the ring and tries to assault BBB. With a laugh, Bitch grabs Wagner's shirt. Dino shouts something to Bitch, who nods and lifts Wagner into the air, then drops him down in a massive powerbomb. As soon as Wagner lands, Dino's in the air with the chair under his arm, and he lands on Wagner, bringing the chair right into the smaller mans face. There's a brief pause in the action as Dino and Bitch realize that they're the only two left. With a grin, Big Bald Bitch takes a step back and gestures towards Faust. Dino, returning Bitch's smile, drops down to place the pin on the unconscious and badly-bleeding Faust. The referee drops down and counts... 1... 2... 3! TETE: Dino Fischetti is the new Hardcore Champion! FLOYD: Thank you for pointing out the obvious... TETE: Wait, it's not over yet... Dino hauls Faust off the mat again, and Bitch grabs the chair again. Once more, Dino flings Faust face forward, and once more Bitch swings his weapon into Faust's head. The chair practically shatters, and Bitch flings the two pieces to the mat. The two clasp hands and climb out of the ring together, passing an EMT squad as they left. They make a cursory check of Faust's condition, then apply a neck brace and a forehead wrap, then transfer him to the stretcher. A third EMT checks Wagner, who manages to climb t his feet, albeit slowly and painfully. Finally, after applying bandages to Faust's numerous headwounds, the EMT's carry him from the ring and off the stage. TETE: My God! Unbelievable! The EMT's have shipped Faust off to the back, and God knows his condition! FLOYD: Probably not too good. TETE: Thank you, Floyd. FLOYD: What amazes me is that the Bitch actually gave the pin to Fischetti! And then they walked out together! TETE: If those two have united, then God knows where the Company
Line stands. Are they with the Company Line or against them? Laser will want to know in
short order.
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